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Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Women’s Faces and Their Meanings

1. Contempt:



Lifted brows, upper lip lifted. 
How to cause this:  it’s enough just to wipe the sweat off your head with a tip of your tie.



2. Controlled anger:



Tightly shut lips, flared nostrils, eyes squinting slightly.
How to cause this: find a photo album with your ex-wife photos and put it in a prominent place.


3. Fear:


Eyes open wide, eyebrows slightly raised comers of the mouth are pointing downward. 
How to cause this: pick up the phone and say: “Hey Wolfgang! I heard you and your brothers have no place to live? Well, come live with us!”



4. Sarcastic Smile:



Mouth half-open, eyes slightly squinting. 
How to cause this: going out with your buddies, promise to be home at 9 pm.


5. Obligatory Smile:


Mouth corners are pointing in different directions, in a lopsided smile.
How to cause this: invite your boss to visit your house.


6. Derision:



Lips shut, eyes squinting. 
How to cause this: refuse to pay extra $100 for a hotel room with a better view.


7. Asking nicely:



Llifted eyebrows, trembling chin.
How to cause this: promise something, then change your mind.


8. Pleading:



Wrinkled forehead, lips slightly open, eyes wet. 
How to cause this: Again promise her something, (see previous), and then change your mind again.


9. Baffled Anger:



One eye squinted, jaw put forward. 
How to cause this: when you team wins, go to bed dressed in it’s colors.


10. Confusion:



Eyes open wide, mouth slightly open. 
How to cause this: get a tattoo with a different girl’s name.


11. Deep Hatred:



All face muscles are frozen as in a mask.
How to cause this: Say that her new dress is good, but your secretary’s dress is better.


12. Humble Submission:



Mouth is closed, one eyebrow slightly raised.
How to cause this: as yet unknown.

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